commented out

I got a real gem in my inbox the other day. Now, we all know about the dangers of phishing scams, and I’ve gotten them in various forms over the years. The latest attempt, posing as Paypal account security, takes the cake, so I just have to share. The subject line reads thus:

Please Restore Yuour Acount Access

I couldn’t help but laugh. If you can’t tell from that alone that it’s bogus, maybe a couple exerpts will help.

Paypal is constantly working to ensure security by regulary screening the accounts in our system.We recently reviewed your account,and we need more information to help us provide you with secure service.Until we can collect this information,your access to sensitive account features will be limited.We would like to restore your acces as soon as possible,and we apologize for the inconvenience.

That paragraph is just as it appeared in the message, misspellings and poor grammar included. Further along in the message was the explanation concerning my supposed account limitations:

We would like to ensure that your account was not accessed by an unauthorized third party.Becouse protecting the security of your account is our primary concern,we have limited access to sensitive Paypal account features.

Let’s recap for the sake of being thorough. Apparently the folks at Paypal have enough sense to run a (thus-far) successful business but haven’t the slightest clue when it comes to basic grammatical principles such as leaving a space after punctuation. They also cannot spell the words your, account, regularly, and because. Furthermore, since they still haven’t acquired a domain name, I can reach them at the address 62.81.142.158 or I can just login to their account server at 145.236.228.89.

This concludes our lesson in phishing tomfoolery.

It’s no wonder evil never wins! There are sword-weilding do-gooders running rampant and here we have Daedric minions slacking off. It’s pitiful, I tell you.

This is what happens when I’m between quests in Oblivion and a defeated enemy lands funny. The demon on the right landed that way, so I dragged another one over and propped him up. I recorded the bottle setup, but I didn’t hit the hotkey in time to catch the long run downhill to catch a runaway bottle of Tamika’s finest.

No posts in around a month and now you get a tired rant. Enjoy!
Relevant link: Jack Thompson’s Open Letter to Bono

Wonderboy lawyer Jack Thompson, best-known for his crusade against the gaming industry, reaches out to U2’s Bono in an apparent attempt to save his soul. The basic gist is this: Bono is one of six primary investors who run an investment team called Elevation Partners. Their goal is to help media companies create and distribute content. Apparently, they’re looking to acquire Take Two Interactive, a well-known video game publisher responsible for marketing the infamous Grand Theft Auto franchise.

Let me take a moment to state my own stance on the issue of violent video games. I think it’s really just the next big media target. Dungeons & Dragons was once a major cause of homicidal teens. Rock music and action movies also apparently cause kids to kill. I’m not at all surprised that gaming causes it, too. It’s an interactive experience which, according to experts like Mr. Thompson, helps delude the addled teenage mind, driving an average kid to homicidal rage. Wait, I’ve played Dungeons & Dragons, watched plenty of action movies, and I’m listening to some pretty heavy guitar riffs right now. I’ve also played every entry in the GTA franchise (except the new PSP release). Pray for me; how long before I succumb to evil? Maybe I should enclose this paragraph in sarcasm tags.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that the GTA series hasn’t gone to lengths to outdo its mature content with each release. Violent games don’t make kids kill, but I’m sure they can lend some colorful ideas to kids who aren’t too stable as it is. This is what the ESRB was formed for, to slap ratings on this stuff to help parents do their job. That’s what it comes down to, good parenting. If little Johnny is feeling particularly stabby this month, a diet of immersive violence might be a bad idea and his mother should take the Mature rating into consideration. Long story short, games can be fun (no matter the content) when enjoyed responsibly. But I digress.

What gets me is the way crusaders like Jack Thompson will twist things, like his description of the Playstation 2 Dual Shock controller:

Sony and Take-Two designed the GTA: Vice City game to utilize the PS2’s Dual Shock controller, which sends a visceral jolt back into the hands of the player each time he kills. Thus, the entire system is a biofeedback, operant conditioning system which desensitizes the user to the act of killing.

Are you serious? A visceral jolt? Electric fences deliver a visceral jolt. Tazers may deliver a visceral jolt. The Dual Shock vibrates a little. Does that mean my cell phone delivers a visceral jolt when I get a phone call? Cingular and Motorola designed my phone to desensitize me to social contact. Those fiends!

Quoting Bill Gates:

Here is what he said recently on 60 Minutes: “These action games transport you to a world you think is real.” Exactly. That is why they are dangerous.

Yeah, I can see how someone lacking a clear definition of reality and fantasy could be affected. This just brings us back to the parenting thing. It’s a parental responsibility to instill a strong sense of reality in their children and realize if they may be missing it.

All right, I’m done ranting. I suppose the major point I’d like to convey (so you don’t feel like you just lost moments of your life) is that it would be nice if people in prominent media positions, like Thompson, could put their energy to more constructive use. Time and money would be better spent educating people on content and ratings. Mature rating? Buy it for your college-graduate son, not your elementary school nephew. At the very least, give parents a resource where they can get help explaining these things to their kids.

So, last night I was relaxing and watching Titus on DVD when my phone rings. It was the monthly call from the Star Ledger, a local newspaper, asking me if I’d like to subscribe. I politely declined, but the man on the other end was determined. He explained the excellent free weekend deal I’d be getting, and to top it all off I’d get a free Star Ledger umbrella. Great! I declined once more, maintaining my composure despite the routine calls I get from these people.

What came next caught me completely off guard. “But, it’s a nice umbrella, I have one myself,” the man says. It’s so reassuring that his best selling point is the umbrella, as opposed to the scintillating articles the newspaper may contain. I thanked him and assured him that I am already well-prepared for rain. “But it’s real big,” he tells me. After I inform him that mine is, too, he finally gives up and thanks me for my time.

Moral: Sometimes telemarketing is much funnier than you’d think.